Friday, September 20, 2019

SLOGANS ARE NICE

by Bob Walsh

Stockton has a couple of slogans. One of them, "The Sunrise Seaport," is sort of odd. It alludes to the fact that Stockton (which does have a decent deep water port) is pretty far east for such things on the West side of the country. Another of them is "Stockton. Someplace Special." If you regard being a crime ridden and gang infested open sewer as special, I guess it is.

Some organization or other that asserts some expertise in such things just released a ranking of 130 major cities in the U. S. as far as being a good dating city. Focused on things like decent dinning and good dating venues. Stockton came out 130 on the list of 130.

"Stockton. We're The Bottom Of The Pile." How is that for a slogan? Plus, I am confident the rating is wrong. I could go out to Wilson Way right now and get a "date" for $20 bucks, and maybe pick up some body vermin or an STD while I was at it.

"Stockton. We're The Buttcrack Of California." I think that has a certain ring to it, don't you? How about this. "Welcome To Stockton. It's Much Nicer Than Fallujah." I actually had t-shirts made up with that on them.

Or, "Stockton. Some Of Our High School Graduates Can Actually Both Read And Write."

I guess I'm beating a dead horse now. OK, one more. "Welcome To Stockton. At Least It's Better Than Needles."

2 comments:

Trey Rusk said...

I can't compare Stockton to Needles. I never stopped in Stockton but I have stopped in Needles to piss.

My youngest son was stationed in Clovis, NM while in the military. The whole town smelled like cow shit. There were huge cattle pens and cattle was King. A sign on the edge of town had a picture of a bovine and read. "The smell of money." I thought the picture should have been of a huge dung heap.

bob walsh said...

It is illegal to wear cowboy boots inside Clovis city limits unless you own at least three head of cattle. Really.