THE RED DOT

With apologies to my Indian friends Sanjiv and Chandan.

AT LAST, WE HAVE AN EXPLANATION FOR THE RED DOT FROM THE INDIAN EMBASSY IN OTTAWA

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a costume jewelry shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States.

If the scratch-off leaves nothing there, the husband must remain in India to answer telephones for American cell phone, satellite TV and computer companies to provide their customers tech support.