The Unconventional Gazette
August 31, 2014
You're a sick senior citizen and the government says your illness does not qualify for Nursing Home Care. So what can you do? Those of you enrolled in a Medicare Advantage plan can sign up for Part G(un).
Medicare Part G gives anyone 65 years or older, who does not qualify for Nursing Home Care, a gun and 4 bullets with instruction on how to shoot four Politicians.
This means, of course, that you'll be sent to prison where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, library and all the health care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change or heart? They're all covered.
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!
And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home.
And because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay anymore income taxes.
Is this a great country or what?
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