Sunday, April 27, 2025

THE LORD MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

By Bob Walsh

 

Wayne Volz's mugshot from a prior arrest (Polk County Sheriff's Office)

 
Yesterday God pistol-whipped his mother in Bartow, Florida and then shot it out with the responding deputies from the Polk County SO.  

The incident kicked off about 5:30 pm when God (sometimes known as Wayne Volz) got pissed at his parents in their Fort Meade home.  It got unpleasant and he physically attacked his mother and then his father when he tried to intervene.  I am guessing Voltz isn't really God because his father certainly could have whipped his ass if he was.  He also said his mother was the devil, which doesn't track theologically.  

For some reason passing understanding Volz took his dad to his dad's place of work, the Lowe's store in Bartow, intending to cause problems there.  His dad managed to cut out and let people know that things were about to go sideways.  The cops showed up and Volz tried to beat feet, then opened fire on the local constabulary.  One deputy and one cop were injured in the back-and-forth.  God-Volz died from gunshot wounds.  I guess he wasn't really God after all.  That will show him.     

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