President Obama has just confirmed that the earthquake that struck Virginia and DC occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault."
Obama also announced that the Secret Service, the FBI and Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano are conducting an investigation of the quake's suspicious ties to the Tea Party.
Conservative researchers, however, have just proven that the quake was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves.
__Disassociated Press
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