The Onion
April 5, 2012
BEIJING — Following an independent audit that uncovered major labor violations in Chinese factories responsible for producing iPhones, iPads, and numerous other Apple products, electronics manufacturer Foxconn agreed Thursday to sweeping new reforms that will allow laborers to work in dangerous and inhumane conditions from the comfort of their own homes.
"We have enacted several new policies that make it possible for employees to put in grueling, poorly compensated 100-hour workweeks from their place of residence, whether that's an inadequately ventilated hut they share with their extended family in a rural village or an overcrowded, toxin-ridden dormitory right here on the Foxconn campus," company chairman Terry Gou said in a statement to the press. "Our new labor-friendly policies provide remote access to the factory's hazardous chemicals and combustible electrical equipment, as well as to the brutal stress levels that drive employees to suicide."
Gou added that new maternity-leave packages would allow women to continue assembling MacBook Pros from a hospital bed while giving birth.
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