MYSTERY OF THE COCAINE BAGGIE IN THE CHURCH PARKING LOT

Callous cops prevent preacher from getting to the bottom of this mystery

I am very impressed with this preacher’s determination to find out how a baggie of cocaine ended up in his church’s parking lot. I am sure that had the callous cops not busted him and seized the coke, a roundtable discussion and prayer meeting with his church leaders would have gotten to the bottom of this mystery.

While Hair Balls reports that the pastor “has quit the pulpit,” KHOU reports he only stepped down temporarily. And his 36-year-old girlfriend told KHOU that the 60-year-old preacher has been part of her life since she was 14 and that he did not and would never hurt her. How romantic!

REV. BOBBY GASS: THAT COCAINE WASN’T MINE – I FOUD IT IN THE CHURCH PARKING LOT!
By Craig Malisow

Houston Press Hair Balls
December 3, 2012

A Galveston County pastor charged last week with assault and cocaine possession has quit the pulpit, telling his congregation that the bag of coke officers found his car was something he had found in the church parking lot. For real.

Rev. Kenneth "Bobby" Gass, 60, of Tikie Island, is accused of pushing his 36-year-old girlfriend out of his SUV (it was stopped at the time, fortunately for the alleged push-ee). According to the Galveston County Daily News, police said Gass, the founder of Baypoint Community Church, pulled the woman back into the vehicle by her hair. Ouch.

On Sunday, according to the Daily News, Gass told his congregation that the incident leading to the arrest was a "stupid decision," but he also denied the charges.

"He denied hitting the woman riding in his car or trying to push her out of the vehicle," according to the news story. "He also said the bag of cocaine had been found in the church parking lot. He said he had kept it for a meeting during which church leaders were to discuss how it came to be on church property."

Hair Balls, for one, can totally buy that explanation. We can't tell you the number of unusual items we've found in our parking lot, which, instead of throwing away or turning over to authorities, we put in our car for use as future talking points in some meeting. These include: heroin, stem cells, a bloody knife, 14 ounces of plastic explosives, a crack rock the size of the Hope Diamond, and Jimmy Hoffa's head. So we can truly understand how Gass might be kicking himself.

We just hope that, however things turn out for Gass, the church eventually solves the Mystery of the Cocaine Bag in the Parking Lot.