Goose Gets Caught After Midnight
Recently, female Sheriff's Deputy, Ima Nanner arrested Goose, a 62 year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Galveston County courthouse, in front of the Honorable Judge Sisterella, Goose was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication. When asked to explain himself by Judge Sisterella, Goose explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session at the spectacular Sunset Lounge when he decided to stop.
'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,' he stated. Goose went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' Goose commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Goose failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Nanner approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' explained Deputy Nanner to the court. 'I walked up to Goose and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.' Deputy Nanner went on to describe what happened when she approached Goose ... 'I said excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’
Goose froze in mid stroke and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'”
The courtroom and judge Sisterella could not contain their laughter. Goose was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10.00 and sent on his way.
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