The Onion
January 22, 2013
CAMP BASTION, AFGHANISTAN—Completing his four-month tour of duty in Afghanistan, Prince Harry of Wales admitted in interviews this week to having killed a number of “Taliban-looking people” while serving with the British Army Air Corps.
“They were definitely dressed pretty Taliban-y, wearing those scarves and robe things, and they were speaking that al-Qaeda-sounding language,” Queen Elizabeth II’s 28-year-old grandson said of the Afghan insurgents he shot and killed while co-piloting an Apache helicopter to provide air support for ground forces. “Who else could it have been? It’s Afghanistan. They’re all over this place in their dirty Taliban homes. Those Taliban kids are hard to hit, by the way—they’re quick.”
Upon returning home, Harry, who is third in line to the British throne, reported sighting numerous Taliban insurgents working in shops, running businesses, and walking around London in plain view.
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