BANNED FROM THE TARGET STORE

The Unconventional Gazette
January 21, 2013

A woman, who insisted that her retired husband accompany her whenever she went shopping, received the following letter from Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1) June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2) July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3) July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4) July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.' This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

5) August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6) August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7) August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8) September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

9) October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

10) October 20: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

11) October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.