Wednesday, March 13, 2013

HABEMUS PAPUM

By Bob Walsh

PACOVILLA
March 12, 2013

VATICAN CITY -- In what was certainly the shortest conclave in the last 1,000 years the Roman Catholic Church has elected Barack Hussein Obama as Pope. It is sort of strange as he is not a member of the clergy, is not Catholic, and may not (depending on who you ask) even be a Christian.

The Camerlengo, when asked about this extraordinary situation, responded, “If the Nobel Prize Committee can give him the Peace Prize simply for defeating a military hero [John McCain], we can elect him Pope on the same basis.”

The President’s press secretary, Allison Janney, announced that the president intends to hold both posts simultaneously and may very well hold the post of President for life, to parallel his election as Pope, as a matter of administrative convenience.

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