SEN. FEINSTEIN INTRODUCES TERRORISM PREVENTION BILL

Businesses will be required to register all buyers of pressure cookers, gun powder or other explosives, nails and BBs or ball bearings

By Adolf der Schweinehund

The Unconventional Gazette
April 21, 2013

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Diane Feinstein, D-Calif., called a special news conference Sunday to announce she was introducing a bill to prevent terrorist attacks like the Boston Marathon bombing. Standing on the steps of the Capitol Building, Feinstein told reporters her bill would require businesses to register all buyers of pressure cookers, gun powder or other explosives, nails and BBs or ball bearings.

“We must do something about the easy availability of items that can be used in putting together a bomb,” Feinstein said. “I've entitled my bill 'The Boston Marathon Terrorism Prevention Law.' While this bill will not prevent all terrorist bombings, knowing that they will have to register their purchase may keep some terrorists from buying items that can be used to make a bomb. After all, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that once you register your purchase, it can be traced back to you.”

When this reporter asked, “Senator, what makes you think the Senate will pass this bill when it would not pass your assault weapons ban?”

A visibly angry Feinstein shot back: “You little jerk! ..... Why did you have to bring up my assault weapons ban? I cannot believe that some of my fellow Democrats were so scared of the NRA that they voted against my proposal. Mark my words ….. with the millions Mayor Bloomberg is throwing into the gun control campaign, all those stupid Republicans and those cowardly Democrats will be sent packing the next time they come up for reelection. And then Congress will send an assault weapons ban to the President for his signature. You can bank on that, you dickhead!”

Burt Prelutsky, an LA Times columnist standing next to this reporter, said: “Don’t let her bother you. Frankly, I don’t know what it is about California, but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women like Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters to high office. I’m not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to Washington, we’re number one.”