I see a PG-13 movie in the making featuring a breathtaking chase by a dozen police cars of a shopping-cart scooter weaving in and out of traffic, going through red lights and screeching around street corners with a leggy and voluptuous Beyonce behind the wheel leaving the wreckage of private and cop cars in her wake. A sure bet for an Academy Award nomination.
JACKQUINE BELL: ESCAPE FROM WALMART ROBBERY VIA SHOPPING-CART SCOOTER SOMEHOW THWARTED
By Richard Connelly
Houston Press Hair Balls
July 11, 2011
The getaway vehicle -- a key component to any successful robbery.
You can use anything from a Mini Cooper (a la The Italian Job remake) to a sleek speedy roadster. Or you could use one of those shopping-cart scooters, in which case you're master plan seems likely to fail.
It's a lesson Jackquine Bell learned the hard way in Longview recently, according to KLTV news.
Bell's plan was big-time -- it included the taking of almost one hundred dollars' worth of merchandise, surely bringing the Walmart corporation to its knees.
The massive haul included clothes and cosmetics, which she loaded up into what (we're assuming) intense surveillance and research determined to be the fastest scooter in the store, if not the entire Longview area.
A no-doubt thrilling chase ensued, but alas, she was overtaken by security guards who might or might not have broken a sweat.
She was charged with the robbery and -- surprise! -- possession of drug paraphernalia.
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