by Bob Walsh
My
good friend Zorg, who is an intelligent gas from the planet
Tralfalmadore, is a political junkie. He has smuggled me an advanced
copy of the State of the Union speech Joe Biden is supposed to give
before congress in two weeks. I am confident there will be some minor
tweaking between now and then, but as of right now this is it.
My
Fellow Americans. Me and my family are doing just fine thank you.
With 40 plus years graft and of corruption under my belt and all the
back door and under the table shit my remaining son what's-his-name and
my brother have got we will be sitting pretty. Hell, as a retired
president I will never even have to buy another gallon of gas in my
life. The Secret Service will drive me everywhere I need to go an an
armored limo. I don't give a shit about gas prices. I don't have to
buy the stuff.
Pretty much
every member of congress is set too. Only the honest or stupid ones are
not, and I don't give a good god damn about them and neither does
anybody else whose opinion matters.
All
of you poor peasants out there in flyover country better start looking
at moving to Bolivia. You can plant cocoa plants to keep my worthless
son supplied in booger sugar so he isn't tapping my till. If that
doesn't work for you, you can move to Canada and get jobs driving
trucks. I hear they have openings up there.
Other than that, you are pretty well fucked. Have a nice day.
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