One day, in line at the cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor.'
‘Listen pal, don't waste your time with surgery,’ Mike replies. ‘There's a diagnostic computer at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five bucks.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get discount coupons too.'
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart. He deposits five dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.'
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Walmart, eager to check what would happen.
He deposits $5, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin. The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has worms. Get him some de-worming capsules.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.. Get a lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....
Thank you for shopping at Walmart.
1 comment:
Since Walmart came out with that nifty little machine last year my wife and I dropped our medical insurance entirely. Don't need it.
If they had come out with it a couple of years ago, this whole Obama care scam would have been unnecessary.
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