FIVE WISHES

The Unconventional Gazette
July 27, 2012

A Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a Black (a documented Democrat), a Jew, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.

"I can only grant five wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are five of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."

The Black thought for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa ." Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.

The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my peoples back to our homeland, May-he-co!" Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared on the beach.

The Jew said, “I wish for enough airplanes to take all my people to Israel to reclaim the land God gave to his Chosen People.” Poof! The sky was filled with jumbo jets.

The Muslim said, "I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah." Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he watched as the jumbo jets headed back into the sky, and then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, "Just give me a Bud Lite. It doesn't get any better than this!"