The Unconventional Gazette
November 26, 2013
Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.
Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.
If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex; a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!
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