THIS SWINGER PROBABLY WON'T BE SWINGING AGAIN

This is why California is recognized as “The Land of Nuts and Fruits."

Here are some excerpts from The Sacramento Bee’s report on a nutty and failed fraudulent workers' compensation scheme:

CALIFORNIA CORRECTIONAL OFFICER ACCUSED OF LYING ABOUT BEING SHOT AT S.F. SEX CLUB
By Sam Stanton

The Sacramento Bee
March 23, 2010

The story John Alfonzo Smiley told is every correctional officer's fear: He was at a San Francisco restaurant with his wife when a parolee recognized him, then gunned him down with a shot that left him paralyzed from the waist down.

Unable to work, the 44-year-old Smiley filed a workers' compensation claim that could have paid him and his wife nearly $2.5 million.

Except investigators say that isn't exactly how Smiley ended up getting shot...the altercation that led to his paralysis started at a swingers club, where he and his wife were engaging in sex with strangers and a dispute quickly escalated.

The results are five felony counts against Smiley and his wife, Cynthia Ann Biasi-Smiley, alleging the couple conspired to commit fraud...

Instead of being related to his employment, which could have made a workers' compensation claim successful, investigators say the matter began at Pacific Avenue and Kearny Street in San Francisco in the predawn hours of April 27, 2008.

At that corner was a "swingers" club named Twist, where admittance is allowed only after the owner approves an e-mail request. There is no sign out front to advertise its existence, court records state.

A $40 cover charge gets patrons admitted to a two-story complex with a dance floor, a ceiling-to-floor dance pole, a DJ and pornographic movies playing on televisions and a movie screen, court records say.

Upstairs is the "play room," where owner Ivan Stroganov told investigators the sex play would occur.

When Stroganov was asked if there would be orgies taking place he responded,
"Certainly."...He admitted there would be couples having sex in all areas of the upstairs play room.

It was here, in an area with a circular bed and a black and white couch, that the altercation occurred that night, court records state.

The Smileys arrived at midnight...met another couple, court records state, and eventually began to have sex with them...Smiley's condom broke while he was having sex with the woman, and her companion became angry...

The Smileys left and began walking to their car when Smiley heard another car pull up and the man from the club emerged with a gun, court records state. The pair began to run and Smiley was shot in the back...

San Francisco police arrived at 2:24 a.m. and the Smileys told them what had happened inside the club and after, court records state.

Smiley also told the police he didn't want to tell them "about the swingers club and hoped it would not get back to his department (California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation)," court records say.

Apparently, it didn't for a while.

On March 27, 2009, one month before Smiley's ability to file a workers' compensation claim would lapse, he submitted a form indicating he had been shot by a former inmate...