A WALMART HIGH

HOW TO GET A RUSH IN THE PINEY WOODS WITHOUT USING METH
By Richard Connelly

Houston Press
March 19, 2010

You know what's boring? Babysitting two kids while schlepping around your own two kids, that's what's boring.

A gal with joie de vivre needs a little excitement at such times. What to do? Duh -- You leave the kids in the pick-up truck (engine running, of course), head into the Walmart and do a little shoplifting.

The thrill of stuffing panties "and other miscellaneous items" in your pants...Well, as Rick James would put it, it's a helluva drug.

At least that's the explanation allegedly offered by Karen Annette Diehl, 28, from Lumberton in East Texas. The Silsbee Bee is on the case (hat tip to the Bayou), and says Lumberton police picked her up after she was caught on the extensive security-camera system every Walmart has. (Adds to the shoplifting excitement, we guess.)

Sayeth the Bee: "When Diehl was arrested by the Lumberton Police Department, she told an officer the reason that she had shoplifted was because a friend had told her 'it was a rush.'"

She's in the meth-ridden Piney Woods and the best advice she has on how to get a rush is to shoplift at Walmart? We're not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

Police said Diehl spent a half-hour in the store, while the four kids -- ages two, three, four and six -- waiting in the idling pick-up truck outside. The local CPS is investigating, the Bee said.

Lumberton police chief Danny Sullins offered some astute analysis:

"People should not have to be reminded not to leave their babies in the car," said Sullins. "This is Texas. God has given us all common sense. Folks should use that common sense and not leave babies in the car, especially when you're going into a store and stealing and committing crimes with their children with them. You like to think that people have better sense than that."

Sullins also said that Wal Mart is the last place that he would think people would steal from. "They have a well trained loss prevention team and a great security camera network there," he said. "That works very well for police departments. Not only do we have a loss prevention person who spots them and witnesses the crime, but they also capture the crime on videotape and they do prosecute. That's the last place I'd steal from."

We've seen too many Tea Parties to agree wholeheartedly with the "This is Texas. God has given us all common sense" pronouncement, but we heartily endorse his advice to aspiring criminals as to what places to avoid.