AMERICA'S CROOKS SHOULD BE INFORMED ABOUT NORWAY'S PRISONS

By letting American crooks know about Norway’s plush prisons, we would see a significant reduction in our crime rates. A lot of our crooks would move to Norway. Immediately after their arrival they would commit a crime and make sure they got caught. They know that by letting themselves get caught they will enjoy a better life in Norway’s prisons than what their lives were like back home in the good old U.S.A.

Besides being built and furnished like an upper-crust country club, half the correctional officers in this prison are drop-dead gorgeous Nordic broads. The Norwegians believe that female guards decrease aggression. I rather doubt it would work that way with American prisoners.

WORLD’S POSHEST PRISON? CELLS WITH EN-SUITE BATHROOMS AND NO WINDOW BARS (PLUS 1M POUNDS BANKSY-STYLE ART)

Mail Online
May 11, 2010

It's the ultimate prison break for murderers and rapists - en-suite bathrooms, £1million Banksy-style art and even windows without bars.

That's the 'hard-time' waiting for some of Norway's most dangerous criminals in the new purpose built £15 million Halden Prison.

The jail took 10 years to build and has been touted to be the most humane in the world for its 252 inmates.

Prison authorities claim the luxury environment of the 75-acre site helps reduce the country's already very low crime rate.

Each inmate gets a private cell with mini-fridge, flat-screen TV and even a private en-suite bathroom and barless windows - because they let in more sunlight.

Then for every 12 to 15 rooms there is a top-notch kitchen with stainless steel work tops and lounge areas complete with IKEA-style sofas and coffee tables.

To cap-off their stay at Halden, the pampered prisoners can even enjoy a gym - complete with rock-climbing wall - a music studio and luxury library.

Architect Hans Henrik Hoilund admitted Halden holds some of Norway's most dangerous prisoners but - believes its design means they don't re-offend.

He said: 'The most important thing is that the prison looks as much like the outside world as possible.

'To avoid an institutional feel, exteriors are not concrete but made of bricks, galvanized steel and larch; the buildings seem to have grown organically from the woodlands.

'And while there is one obvious symbol of incarceration - a 20-foot concrete security wall along the prison's perimeter - trees obscure it.

'And it's top has been rounded off, so it isn't too hostile.'

The Norwegian Banksy-style artist Dolk was also hired to paint a £1million mural on the prison wall showing a prisoner in striped uniform using a ball and chain as a shot put.

Halden opened it's doors officially last month, taking in the first batch of inmates. Prison governor Are Hoidal said there have been no escape attempts.

He said: 'In the Norwegian prison system, there's a focus on human rights and respect.

'We don't see any of this as unusual.

'When they arrive many of them are in bad shape and we want to build them up, give them confidence through education and work and have them leave as better people.'

Halden also features jogging trails in nearby woods and a freestanding two-bedroom house where inmates can host their families during overnight visits.

In Norway only 20 per cent of prisoners end up back in jail after release, compared to between 50 and 60 per cent in the UK.