POT ADDLED BRAINS

Who says that pot doesn’t addle your brains?

STONER FOLLIES: “DOROTHY PETITE BUD” FLUNKS GROWHOUSE 101; TWO MO CITY MEN LACK COP-HANDLING SKILLS
By John Nova Lomax

Houston Press Hair Balls
May 19, 2010

Those silly stoners are at it again, providing snarky bloggers with humorous true crime fodder.

Our first two cases take us down to Missouri City.

In the most recent incident, police pulled over 20-year-old Adam Hitchcock at around 3:40 p.m. on Monday afternoon for unspecified traffic violations. According to reports, the Mo City cop could smell burned marijuana coming from Hitchcock's ride. The cop asked Hitchcock if had been smoking, whereupon the young man is alleged to have responded "Not today, but I smoke it on a regular basis."

The cop asked him if there might be some in the car then anyway, and Hitchcock is alleged to have replied: "None that I know of, but there may be some small pieces on the floorboard."

Cops searched and found more than that -- there was a little bag of weed on the passenger side floorboard. Hitchcock was charged with Class B Misdemeanor pot possession.

Last Friday, another Mo Citian was having a wilder time of it...

Around midnight, police came upon an unnamed 30-year-old man staggering down McHard Road, a major street, reeking of booze and weed. The cop later said he appeared highly intoxicated and was a danger to himself.

After a search, he was found to have a little bag of pot in his possession and was taken to jail. While being booked, he asked the jailer for one kind favor: he wanted the desk cop to save him some of his weed for him to smoke after he got out.

"Needless to say, he did not and it was submitted into evidence," said Missouri City police captain John Bailey, in what we imagine are very Joe Friday-like tones.

As is so often the case, our last and best Cheech and Chong-style tale takes us deep in the forests of East Texas.

Last Thursday in the Newton County town of Deweyville, a 58-year-old woman with the gloriously appropriate name of Dorothy Petite Bud was busted for growing weed in her home, and not trying very hard to hide it: when police came by to investigate a tip, they found that Petite Bud had a pair of two-foot pot plants basking in the sun in her windowsill. Based on their own recognition of the plants, police easily got a warrant and raided her house, in which they found another bag of dried weed and some unspecified paraphernalia.