NASHVILLE LAWYER THINKS HE CAN REVERSE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BY FILING TEXAS LAWSUIT TO LET HIM MARRY HIS LAPTOP

By Meagan Flynn

Houston Press
April 18, 2016

It would be all too easy to think that the man fighting to marry his Mac laptop in Harris County is some type of lonely introverted tech nerd who accidentally fell in love with an intelligent machine. On the surface, it kind of sounds like he just walked out of the futuristic, Oscar-winning film Her and is trying to launch a civil rights movement for computers or something. Perhaps for Siri.

Unfortunately, though, that's not what's happening here.

Chris Sevier has filed a lawsuit against the Harris County district clerk, Gov. Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton for denying him the right to marry his Mac because he is trying to make a pretty cruel argument. He is trying to prove that, essentially, marriage between a same-sex couple can be equated to marriage between a man and a machine. He is trying to prove that, under Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark U.S. Supreme Court case that legalized same-sex marriage, people are now allowed to do morally disgusting things like marry whomever they are attracted to, whether that be inanimate objects or the same gender. Essentially, he is trying to give courts an ultimatum: Agree that this is what they have done and allow him to make vows to a piece of expensive chrome, or, realize that this is morally wrong and undo Obergefell.

In short, Sevier isn't trying to marry his laptop. He is trying to destroy marriages and families across the country. We asked him if he was okay with that, and he said yes.

"The question is, should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle?" Sevier said. "The state is not doing anyone any favors by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage."

For others, however, it pretty much goes without saying that Sevier's arguments are wildly offensive. Matt Wolff is marrying his partner this November, and Wolff said that, by now, they've stopped listening or responding to nonsensical arguments against gay marriage. Not even Paxton, who was among the country's ringleaders in resistance to gay marriage last year, has any interest in Sevier's plan to overturn Obergefell. He filed a motion to dismiss the case; a judge even asked Sevier to please limit his legal filings to 20 pages.

“Any argument against marriage equality that compares an adult in a consenting same-sex relationship to anything other than two normal loving humans is just wrong,” Wolff said. “It is based in that person's fear, and at this point in history, I would say willful ignorance.”

Texas is one of three states in which Sevier, a lawyer and an EDM producer who is "hardcore involved in the music industry," has filed this lawsuit. He plans to hit up 12 more states soon.

"[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who's on the right side of history,” Sevier said. “This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Sevier, a Nashville, Tennessee lawyer, has filed similar lawsuits in Florida and Utah. He told a Florida court that “Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women.”

He must be dicking his laptop’s USB port.