STUPOR BOWL

I enjoyed watching Chuck Norris kick ass in “Walker, Texas Ranger” reruns on the Grit channel

I don’t watch the Stupor Bowl because I think it’s a monumental rip-off by the National Football League. It’s just another NFL game that’s been hyped up beyond reason and for which the tickets go at super-high prices. Then there are those 30 second TV commercials, usually the best part of the game, which go for $5 million. All that hype has 100 million suckers glued to their TVs in a stupor.

Instead of watching the Stupor Bowl, I watched reruns of “Walker, Texas Ranger” on the Grit channel. I did however, click over to the game during the two minutes of commercials, which pop up about every 10 minutes. During those commercial breaks, I did get to see three Falcon touchdowns, including the pick-6 one.

When the score got to be 28-3, I stopped clicking over to the game, believing that the game was out of reach for the Patriots, with Brady and Belichick’s dream of winning a fifth Stupor Bowls gone down the shitter. When I switched over again, the score was 28-20. Next, I saw the tying touchdown and two point conversion. When I clicked again, the Patriots were deep in their end. The last time I switched channels, I could tell by the on-field celebrations that the Patriots won.

During my switchovers, I also watched about two minutes of Lady Gaga’s halftime gig.

I must say that this year’s game was one of the best ever. Nevertheless, I enjoyed watching Chuck Norris kick ass in those Walker, Texas Ranger reruns.

By the way, I hope Tom Brady told NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, “Fuck you, you asshole” when they shook hands after the game.