I know who's REALLY running the White House! KENNEDY's hilarious (and terrifying) warning as Jungle Joe snoozes and World War Three looms
By Kennedy
Daily Mail
Nov 22, 2024
At a time like this, one prays for a steady hand on the Oval Office tiller. So, it's too bad Drowsy Joe's crinkly, sun-spotted digits are too slippery with chocolate ice cream to get a grip.
Is anyone else getting serious World War III vibes?
The Russkies are threatening to bomb US air bases in Poland after launching nuclear-capable hypersonic missiles at Ukraine.
This Putin escalation comes after a White House decision to greenlight Kyiv's lobbing of long-range American-made rockets into Mad Vlad's backyard, killing North Korean mercenaries.
Hey, 2024, it's 1914 calling. They want their global insanity back.
At a time like this, one prays for a steady hand on the Oval Office tiller. So, it's too bad Drowsy Joe's crinkly, sun-spotted digits are too slippery with chocolate ice cream to get a grip.
Who in God's name is really in charge right now, because it sure as hell can't be Commander-Non-Compos-Mentis?
Biden, who turned 82 on Wednesday, just sleep-shuffled through an international swan song this week while visiting Rio de Janeiro for the G20 summit.
The media was so desperate to talk to him that they resorted to writing questions on signs and screaming like groupies as he boarded Air Force One.
'Mr. President, happy early birthday. For your birthday, will you talk to us, sir?' one reporter yelled. 'As a gift to the press, will you please talk to us? Mr. President. President Biden. Please, we haven't heard from you all trip. Mr. President!'
This aging Elvis can't play the hits anymore. Biden showed up late to a photo-op with foreign leaders and seemed to wander into the Amazon jungle like a somnolent Bagger Vance after mumbling over a pre-prepared script.
Yet somehow, amidst all the doddering, snoozing, aimless staring and pointless posing, Joe signed off on arming Ukrainian President Zelensky with Uncle Sam's state-of-the-art weaponry.
Well, color me skeptical AF.
The move to sanction strikes inside Russian territory is a total reversal of Biden's years-long policy of pussyfooting appeasement. The fact he's approved $275 million of new weaponry as he's about to hand over the keys to his archnemesis (Trump, not Nancy Pelosi) is even more concerning.
At best, this sudden shift is reckless. At worst, it is evidence that the country is really being led by a hawkish hive of irresponsible and unelected windbags, who are more interested in cementing their own legacies than paving the way for the incoming administration. It's like taking the nuclear football and going home.
So, who would these presidential string-pullers be?
Perhaps National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan, who memorably declared that the Middle East was 'quieter today than it has been in two decades,' just eight days before October 7.
Or Secretary of State Antony Blinken – the human equivalent of a lukewarm cup of Sanka.
Or Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin, who may go AWOL at any given moment. Or Mayor Pete, still on paternity leave (maybe).
Hey, at least we know it's not Katastrophe Kamala – she's slinked to sun her buns with dumpy nanny-schtupper Doug on a vacation in Hawaii .
Which leaves one person to guide humanity through this crucible: Dr. Strangelove herself.
Come on, Jill. It's time to put that doctoral degree from the University of Delaware to work!
January 20 can't come soon enough.
1 comment:
Somebody should wear a burka on the beach. Two somebodies.
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