STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

GEOFF BLUM JOINS BASEBALL’S STUPID-INJURY LIST: HERE ARE 11 OTHERS
By John Royal
　
Houston Press Hair Balls
July 7, 2010
　
Astros utility player Geoff Blum popped his elbow putting on his shirt last week.Yes, that's right, putting on his shirt. Not his jersey. Not during the game. But his shirt. After the game. He's currently on the disabled list, and he might end up requiring surgery. So Blum joins that ever-expanding list of stupid baseball injuries.

Lots of Astros players have ended up on this list, like Mike Hampton cutting his pitching hand while using a soap dispenser at Wrigley Field. Or J.R. Towles cutting a finger on his ceiling fan. And let's not forget about Hunter Pence running into a glass door. But those are nothing when compared to some of the greatest of stupid baseball injuries.
　
1. Baltimore Orioles outfielder Marty Cordova had to miss multiple games because of doctor's orders to stay out of the sunlight. Why did he have to stay out of sunlight? Simple: he burned his face while using a tanning bed.
　
2. While with the Milwaukee Brewers, first baseman Richie Sexson wrenched his neck trying to put on his hat for his official team photo. Apparently the hat was too small, and he pulled too hard trying to make it fit.
　
3. Colorado Rockies shortstop Clint Barmes broke his collarbone lugging a package of deer meat up a flight of stairs to his apartment.
　
4. Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill landed on the disabled list after he tumbled out of his bed, onto a glass table, then fell down a flight of stairs. This happened because of a nightmare he was having in which he was trying to escape spiders.
　
5. Philadelphia Phillies pitcher, and former Houston Astro, Jeff Juden missed a start because of an infected tattoo.
　
6. Speaking of pitchers, San Diego Padres starter Adam Eaton missed a start because of a self-inflicted cut to his stomach. He cut his stomach trying to open DVD packaging with a knife.
　
7. Hall of Fame third baseman Wade Boggs once missed seven games because he strained his back trying to put on a pair of cowboy boots.
　
8. Speaking of back injuries, Sammy Sosa once sneezed so hard that he started suffering back spasms and has to miss a game while receiving treatment.
　
9. Brett Barberie, then a second baseman for the Florida Marlins, had to miss a game because he was making nachos. Not that the nachos did him in, but he cut up some chili peppers and failed to adequately wash his hands because he then rubbed his eyes, which then started burning and ruined his contact lenses.
　
10. Speedster Vince Coleman of the St. Louis Cardinals had to miss the 1985 World Series because of an inability to outrun an automatic tarp machine. Coleman was, for some reason, not paying attention while in the area of the tarp, and got trapped when the machine was activated, injuring his knee.
　
11. My all-time favorite stupid injury is one that might not have actually happened. The story is that Atlanta Braves great John Smoltz supposedly had to miss a start because he burned his chest. He burned his chest, the story goes, because he was trying to iron a shirt, while wearing it. This is a story that Smoltz denies, but it's one that it is at the top of just about every stupid baseball injury list.

When compared to some of the injuries on this list, Blum's is rather pedestrian. Still, that's probably about the only way Blum is ever going to get mentioned in the same breath with the likes of Smoltz, Boggs, Sosa, and Coleman.