PARDON ME, EXCUSE ME, PARDON ME, WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP

How shocking for something like this to happen in Lufkin, a small town in the bible belt of deep East Texas.

RICHARD COULSTON: BLOWJOB IN KIDDIE FLICK LANDS LUFKIN TEEN IN JAIL
By John Nova Lomax

Houston Press Hair Balls
December 10, 2010

When you think of movies that could inspire people to commit acts of public lewdness, Megamind, the new Will Ferrell-, Brad Pitt- and Tina Fey-voiced animated children's superhero flick doesn't immediately spring to mind.

But a Lufkin couple -- 18-year-old Ricardo Coulston and an unnamed juvenile female -- apparently were quite charged up by what was unspooling on screen in the darkened cineplex.

According to a report in the Lufkin Daily News, on November 12, a woman complained to an off-duty cop that there was some unseemly activity going on in one of the theater's more shady corners. According to the arrest report cited in the article, the woman told the cop that she saw a man "(with his pants down) standing up in front a female who appeared to have her mouth on his penis and he was moving his hips back and forth."

Wow, that was one of the more graphic depictions we've read in a small-town newspaper, but then again, this is Lufkin we're talking about. They are not a particularly squeamish lot.

The woman also told the cop that Coulston was touching the girl "inappropriately," though we would submit that was a judgment call. Who is this woman to say what Coulston's partner thought about the way he was touching her? (In all seriousness, this was a theater full of kids, and a live sex show is definitely not appropriate under those circumstances at any time.)

The Daily News account goes on to say that the cop found the two still at it. Very much still at it, in fact, as it says that he had to tap the otherwise occupied Coulston on the shoulder once, twice, three times before he could grab his attention.

Coulston was taken in to custody and charged with public lewdness, a Class A misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail. Any charges the girl may face were kept secret, as she is a juvenile, but one would have to suppose that she is over the age of consent, as Coulston is not charged with any form of molestation and/or statutory rape.