At the regular Friday evening Shabbat service, Elijah the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular.
Stanley Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Fort Lauderdale and Boca Raton stands up and proclaims, "If Elijah the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes Benz every year, and his wife, Esther, with a Dodge Grand Caravan to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If Elijah the rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee a free university education for his children!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 68, stands and announces with a smile, "If Elijah the rabbi stays, I will give him sex!"
There is total silence.
The rabbi, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?"
Estelle's 70-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replied,
"Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said: "Fuck him.."
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