'WHAT IS THE FASTEST THING YOU KNOW?'

An office manager at a Walmart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a ‘Greeter’ job opening.

After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified - an American, a Russian, an Australian and an Indian.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference table the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"

Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.

"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.

"Hmm... lat me see. A blink! It comes and goes and yew din't know dat it ever habbened. A BLINK is the fastest ting I know."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliche for speed."

He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating his reply.

"Well mate, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of da house and on da wall dare's a light switch. When you flip dat switch, way out cross the pasture the light in da barn comes on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is da fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light" he said.

Turning to Patel, the Indian, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

Patel replied, "Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's obyus to me dat the fastest thing is DIARRHEA."

"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others were already giggling in their seats...

"Oh, I can expleyn sir," said Patel. "You see, sir, da ader day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the batrum, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had alreydi done it in my pants!"

Patel is now the new ‘Greeter’ at that Walmart.