TRULY DUMB CRIMINALS

Most criminals are not dumb, but like the rest of us, they will occasionally do something dumb. Not these two – they are just plain outright dumb!

ESTEFANY MARTINEZ, RICKY GONZALEZ: BRAGGING ON FACEBOOK ABOUT YOUR BANK ROBBERY IS DUMB
By Richard Connelly

Houston Press Hair Balls
April 22, 2011

Facebook: You giveth and you taketh away. You especially taketh away from those who lack any common sense about what to post.

Federal court documents detail the case (first reported in the Houston Chronicle) of Estefany Martinez and Ricky Gonzalez, lovebirds who helped to rob the bank Martinez worked as a teller in of about $62,000.

Prosecutors say the day after the inside-job heist, Gonzalez, known as Ricko Gee, published this on his Facebook page:

__WOKE UP DIS MORNING! BUST DOWN A SWISHA!!! LOOK IN THE MIRROR LIKE I'M ONE RICH ASS NIKKA!! WIPE MY TEETH WITH HUNDREDS WIPE MY ASS WITH DIS 50s :$:$:$:$:$:$....U HAVE TO PAST THE LINE SOMETIMES!! TO GET DIS MONEY!!

Two days before the March 23 robbery, Martinez had posted "GET $$$(,."

Martinez, 19, had previously worked in a bank where a robbery, she believed, had gone unsolved, feds say. So the idea was hatched to try it on their own. Two men with masks came in near closing time to the International Bank of Commerce branch n Eldridge Parkway and made off with the cash, their loot helpfully stripped of any and all tracking devices.

It all began to unravel with a Crime Stoppers tip. Martinez was brought in and gave the feds about $10,800 in cash, what was left of her $12,000 take.

She had spent part of her ill-gotten gains bonding out Gonzalez, who had been arrested on a marijuana charge a few days after the robbery. He had been arrested in a motel room with about $10,800 in cash, but that had been booked as evidence.

As of now, Gonzalez' Facebook page has this self-description: "HighRoller at Make money both ways Dirty and Clean!!"

It also notes under "Interests" the "Church of Theistic Satanism," so it appears at least he has some faith which might help him get through this ass-wiping episode.