PHOOEY ON DR. OZ, PHOOEY ON THE YOU DOCS

In Friday’s Hagar the Horrible comic strip, Hagar has climbed to the top of the mountain to seek life’s secrets from the Wise One who dwells there. Hagar asks, ‘What’s the secret to a long life, O Wise One?’ The Wise One replies, ‘The secret to a long life is – Don’t Smoke, Don’t Drink and Don’t Overeat! The secret to HAPPINESS is an entirely different matter!!'

My father had a coronary occlusion in 1951 when he was 51. Back then when you had a heart attack there was very little they could do for you. There was no bypass surgery, there were no stents, there were no heart transplants. The only thing they could do for my father was to prescribe nitroglycerine tablets for him to take in order to alleviate the chest pains that frequently occurred following his coronary occlusion.

My father’s doctors also told him he had to go on a strict diet, one that deprived him of all the foods he loved to eat. At the time, his income was only sufficient enough for him to shelter, clothe and feed our family. There were no funds left for any social activities to speak of. He told his doctors that eating was about his only pleasure and that he was unwilling to live miserably in order to prolong his life for God only knew how long. My father was dead within a few months, but while he remained alive, he continued to experience the pleasure of eating what he enjoyed eating.

From time to time, you can see Dr. Oz on TV telling you what foods you should avoid in order to enjoy a long and healthy life. The same for the You Docs. The foods they do not want you to eat happen to be the foods that I enjoy the most.

A couple of years ago, I had a sky-high cholesterol level. Our family physician prescribed Simvastatin, the generic drug for Zocor, and gave me a restrictive diet to follow. I told him that since I was already past 80, I was nearing the end of my life and that I was not about to be miserable by not eating the things I like just to prolong my life for God only knows how long. My doctor then told me that I could continue to eat whatever I wanted to and the reason he gave me those strict diet instructions was because doctors are supposed to do that. He said the Simvastatin should lower my cholesterol to an acceptable level regardless of what I ate. My cholesterol level has been fine ever since.

Some months after that, lab tests ordered by my cardiologist indicated that I had some kidney malfunction. The cardiologist told me he was going to refer me to a nephrologist. I asked him what the nephrologist was going to do. He told me the nephrologist would most likely put me on a strict diet. I told him the same thing I had told our family physician earlier. He smiled and said, “OK, let’s forget about the nephrologist.’

God bless our family physician and my cardiologist. Phooey on Dr. Oz! Phooey on the You Docs! Hagar’s Wise One on top of the mountain couldn’t have said it any better.