Andrew Klavan is an American author and screenwriter. He produces ‘Andrew Klavan On The Culture,’ a series of biweekly satirical commentary videos. Here is the transcript of ‘The One State Solution’:
THE ONE STATE SOLUTION
Give the Middle East to the Jews
By Andrew Klavan
Pajamas Media
June 2, 2011
In an effort to bring peace to the Middle East, President Barack Obama has proposed that Israel should return to its 1967 borders in exchange for being annihilated by its enemies. This would be an extension of the brilliant 2005 trade-off in which Israel gave up control of the Gaza strip in return for being relentlessly attacked by rocket fire while Palestinians voted to give leadership in the territory to Hamas, a terrorist organization bent on Jewish genocide.
But enticing as this offer may be, Israeli prime minister Benyamin Netanyahu has subtly indicated his displeasure with the president’s idea by flying to Washington and carefully explaining to Obama the meaning of the ancient Biblical phrase, “Kish meir Yiddische Tuchus.” This creates a major obstacle to achieving the so-called two state solution – a proposal that would bring about lasting peace by dividing the area fairly between the Israelis and those who have sworn to exterminate them if it’s the last thing they ever do.
That’s why today we here at Klavan on the Culture would like to lay out what we consider the only plan likely to bring tranquility, freedom and justice to the region: The one state solution, in which the entire Middle East is given to the Jews.
That’s right. The one state solution is a proposal of genius that would not only help the Palestinians but would instantly achieve the noblest goals of the so-called Arab Spring.
For instance, turning the entire Middle East into one big Israel will secure religious freedom for everyone in the area. As things stand, Muslim states either ban other religions completely or torment their practitioners to the point of extinction.
Not so Israel. Although Jimmy Carter and other leftists pretending not to be anti-semites have accused Israel of practicing religious apartheid, the fact is Muslims and Christians have full freedom of religion in the Jewish state. They can and do vote and serve in the Israeli Parliament and Supreme Court; they can and do volunteer to serve in the Israeli Defense Forces. And only under the Jews, are the religious sites of the holy land open to all.
Indeed, once the entire Middle East becomes Israel, most of the region’s Arabs will be freer and better off in every way than they’ve ever been before. The United Nations reports that Israel is far more democratic and more advanced in human development than any Arab state. And, of course, only in Israel is that half of the population sometimes known as “women”—or “sweetheart” or “baby”—given full human rights.
Handing control of the Middle East over to the Jews is such a terrific idea. In fact, many of you may be thinking, hey, maybe the Jews should run America too. Of course some anti-semites believe the Jews already run America, but that’s ridiculous. If the Jews ran America, we wouldn’t be 14-trillion dollars in debt. Knuckleheads.
For more information on Israel, try searching the subject on frontpage magazine at frontpagemag.com.
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