As a band of squirrels had become quite a problem, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week
The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.
But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
And not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
3 comments:
Gotta admit, that is a good one Howie.
I have a smart backyard squirrel that gives my dogs a fit. They ran him up a tree and the wait started. He barked at them all day and they barked back and acted crazy. It was a good time had by all. They finally got hungry and came inside at dark.
I have a friend with two large dogs, a black lab and a shepherd. Sometimes the neighborhood cats like to tease them by dancing on the back fence. The dogs got sneaky. What they do is the shepherd waits near the cat and barks, possibly to distract the cat, possibly out of force of habit. Then the black lab, who is a bit of a fat-ass, charges the fence as fast as he can and at the last minute turns sideways and bodyslams the fence. It doesn't ALWAYS work but once in a while the cat tumbles off the fence into the yard and the dogs have a warm lunch for free. Dogs are smarter than cats.
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