THE DRONE SWARMS ARE NO DOUBT THE WORK OF NERD HOBBYISTS AND BORED TEENAGERS

KENNEDY: I've had multiple alien encounters... starting when I was a six-year-old. This is the truth about America's 'drone invasion'

 

By Kennedy 

Daily Mail

Dec 20, 2024

 

 

Kennedy: When I was in high school, the first time I smoked weed I had a vivid dream of bubble-fingered visitors standing over me, chanting: 'geeble! geeble!'

 

I first saw a UFO when I was six years old. From the trunk of my parents' station wagon, I peeped a multi-colored disc floating through the night sky.

In fairness, I was bouncing around without a seatbelt (as one did in those days), so the sighting was most likely the symptom of a minor concussion sustained after an impact with a pothole.

My next close encounter came when I was in high school. The first time I smoked weed I had a vivid dream of bubble-fingered visitors standing over me, chanting: 'geeble! geeble!'

It put me off reefer for life but, perhaps oddly, made me a paranormal believer. 

So, when mysterious drones appeared in the skies over northern New Jersey earlier this month, I went full X-Files.

I assumed our saurian overlords had finally tired of our Earthly squabbling and sent an interdimensional flotilla to emulsify us all. Humanity was finally being invaded by fishbowl-headed, laser-toting 'ACK ACK!' extraterrestrials.

And if you think that sounds crazy, just listen to some of the other conspiracies wafting around.

Skinnygirl former Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel said the drones were really secret US vacuum-copters trying to sniff out missing nukes, radiation or errant dirty bombs. 

And Roseanne Barr, fresh off solving the RFK Jr's dead bear in Central Park ruse, has been banging on about Project Blue Beam (a wacko theory that authoritarians will leverage fake alien sightings to sow mass confusion and take over the world).

Then you have the elected lunatics. 

Sassy Congressional rodeo-clown Marjorie Taylor Greene reposted a good old-fashioned chemtrail theory. While New Jersey Congressmen Chris Smith and Jeff Van Drew falsely insisted that an 'Iranian mothership' off the US coast was launching 'elusive maneuvering' vehicles into our airspace.

Yes, it's all insane. But at least these cranks are doing something.

The bureaucrats in charge of America's national security have been about as useful as Kamala Harris when it comes to explaining the sightings. 

Entrenched Deep Staters from the White House to the Pentagon, FBI and DHS have met growing public hysteria with a collective shrug.

So, allow me - a true believer - to set the record straight.

The drone swarms are no doubt the work of nerd hobbyists and bored teenagers. Half the sightings are misidentified planes or stars. And if someone in the Biden administration took a minute away from updating their resume to announce that from a podium, they could have saved us all some time and aggravation.

The Garden State is not under attack by aliens or Iranians, chemtrailers or autocrats. But America is under attack from Establishment incompetence. 

God willing, we will soon discover evidence of intelligent life… in Washington DC.