Hmmmm, looks like Al-Qaeda has unleashed another biological weapon of mass destruction against the Great Satan - this time though not in New York, Philadelphia and Detroit, but in the piney woods of East Texas. This time it’s not the Bedbug Bomber, it’s the Flea Bomber.
RICKY PENSON: PLEASE ENTER YOUR GUILTY FLEA
By John Nova Lomax
Houston Press Hair Balls
September 6, 2010
Just like many a mother has warned, if you lie down with dogs, you'll get up with fleas. A Lufkin man recently learned that lesson, and what's more, he's sharing it with the police force of that honky-tonking little East Texas city whether they like it or not.
Around midnight September 2 police were called and told that 58-year-old Rickey DeWayne Penson was trespassing near a home on Lufkin's Culverhouse Street. Penson was on probation for a crack bust last summer, and what's more, was formally enjoined from being at or near the home on Culverhouse Street.
When police arrived on the scene, Penson attempted to um, flee, but was unable to get very far, so instead he chose to crawl under the house. Unfortunately for him, not to mention a few unwitting police, the crawl space was home to some flea-infested varmints, and the parasites leapt at the opportunity afforded by a bigger host.
By the time Penson was finally cajoled out from under the house, he was infested with the bloodsuckers. And by the time he made it downtown to Lufkin's jail, the entire back-seat of the police cruiser was likewise Flea City.
And it didn't end there.
Before he knew what hit him, the arresting officer was also infested, and somehow he managed to spread the plague of leaping pests to four more police cars.
Apparently, this is not an unusual occurrence: Lufkin police Lt. David Young told TV station KTRE that the department already had the necessary fumigants on hand, as a similar infestation had occurred only last week.
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