TWO-TIMED LOVERS' DEMOLITION DERBY

Note: Except for housing Hurricane Katrina’s evacuees, Houston’s famed Astrodome has been unused and rusting for several years while costing the taxpayers several million dollars annually just for sitting there empty next to Reliant Stadium, its replacement. And, for sentimental reasons, Houston’s idiots don’t want to tear that damn white elephant down.
　
JEANETTE McCORVEY, JENNIFER KLINKHAMMER: TWO LOCAL WOMEN JAILED AFTER PARKING LOT DEMOLITION DERBY
By John Nova Lomax
　
Houston Press Hair Balls
September 15, 2010
　
A love triangle on the southwest side led to a vehicular catfight and the arrests of two women on Monday, courthouse sources tell Hair Balls.

According to Jeanette McCorvey's arrest report, she arranged to pick up the unnamed man who was soon to be at the heart of this squabble at an apartment complex on West Orem.

McCorvey, 26, apparently did not know that the man shared that address with 25-year-old Jennifer Klinkhammer, and apparently Klinkhammer had not been apprised of the fact that McCorvey was picking up her man.
　
So Klinkhammer was already steaming upon making that discovery. Klinkhammer erupted when she happened to witness McCorvey -- who perhaps was being advised to hurry up and get off the property -- back in to her car and drive off. Klinkhammer got in her car and gave chase to McCorvey, who for her part still did not know who she was.
　
Perhaps the two-timing boyfriend told McCorvey about his other woman while Klinkhammer was repeatedly ramming McCorvey's car, or perhaps he told her shortly afterward...At any rate, while police were en route, McCorvey sought her revenge.
　
She managed to get her car in such a position to ram Klinkhammer's ride a few times herself -- or maybe she just kept in reverse, as per the rules of the good old-fashioned demolition derby we once saw in the Astrodome in about 1977.
　
Both were charged with misdemeanor criminal mischief. Neither had been in trouble in Harris County before that fateful night. Perhaps they should have banded together and done the Malachi crunch on the two-timing male Pinky Tuscadero who managed to pit them against each other.
　
Which gives us an idea -- maybe we've at last found a new life for the Astrodome: we could sell tickets to automotive lover's quarrels. What could be more Houston than that?