The billionaire NBA team owner who doesn’t like blacks says that when he’s making love to Vanessa Stiviano, he’s making love to the Mexican part of her, not to the black part
By Ima Schmuck
The Unconventional Gazette
April 28, 2014
The Unconventional Gazette managed to obtain exclusive interviews with the two principals in the Donald Sterling racial brouhaha.
INTERVIEW WITH DONALD STERLING
SCHMUCK: Mr. Sterling, you are being painted as a racist by the media, leading sports figures, Al Sharpton and many other public figures. President Obama has said you were ignorant. How do you respond to that?
DONALD STERLING: I’m not a racist, I just don’t like blacks. They’re lazy, depend on government handouts, steal from white people, their women drop kids right and left from multiple fathers, they kill each other in their own neighborhoods and I could go on and on.
As for Obama calling me ignorant, isn’t that like the kettle calling the pot black!? I’m not ignorant, but in retrospect, I’ll admit it was ignorant of me to donate money to Obama’s election campaigns.
SCHMUCK: Aren’t you stereotyping a whole group of people when you say all that?
STERLING: Yes I am, but I’m not saying anything you don’t read in the papers and see on TV every day.
SCHMUCK: You say you don’t like blacks, but in Vanessa Stiviano, or whatever her real name is, you have a mistress who is half black.
STERLING: That’s right, but when I’m making love to her, I’m making love to the Mexican part of her, not to the black part. And when we’re seen together in public, she looks Mexican, not black.
SCHMUCK: How can you dislike blacks so much when almost all of the players on your NBA team are black?
STERLING: Listen, I pay those guys millions of dollars. If it wasn’t for their basketball skills, they’d probably still be in the hood subsisting on government handouts, gangbanging each other, using and selling dope and fathering children with dozens of women and not supporting the little bastards. Hardly any of my players actually graduated from the colleges they played for and some of them are functionally illiterate, having to depend on their agents, financial advisers and lawyers to keep from squandering the money I pay them.
SCHMUCK: You’re Jewish. Why do you stereotype black people? Isn’t that the same as when anti-Semites stereotype Jews as all being rich, owning all the banks and dominating our government, if not the world?
STERLING: Yes, but those claims are a pack of lies. And in this country most blacks, including those civil rights icons Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, are anti-Semitics. Blacks are the largest group of Jew haters in this country. They accuse us Jews of charging them exorbitant rents for rundown housing, owning stores in black neighborhoods that sell them inferior merchandize at inflated prices and for trying to destroy their race by infecting blacks with diseases. That’s why I don’t like blacks.
Blacks call us Jews slumlords. Slumlords? Shit, I got sued twice for refusing to rent to blacks because I did not want them to turn my properties into slums. … That’s all I have to say for now, madam.
In your report, please be sure to reiterate that I am not a racist! I would appreciate your informing all those people who are dumping on me that I gave $50,000 to the United Negro College Fund and $50,000 to the Black Business Association of L.A. And I’ve also made a sizable contribution to the NAACP. That is not something a racist would do.
SCHMUCK: OK, and thank you Mr. Sterling.
INTERVIEW WITH VANESSA STIVIANO (OR WHATEVER HER REAL NAME IS)
SCHMUCK: Rochelle Sterling has accused you of being a gold-digger who seduces and cajoles wealthy older men into showering you with luxurious gifts. How do you respond to that?
STIVIANO: That bitch is just pissed off because Donald preferred making love to me rather than to her.
SCHMUCK: But you’re a 38-year-old woman being kept by an 81-year old man who has given you a Ferrari convertible, two Benfleys, a Range Rover, a $1.8 million duplex apartment and $240,000 for living expenses. That does seem like you’ve cajoled an old man into showering you with luxurious gifts.
STIVIANO: Look, I can’t help it if Donald likes my looks and my body. So, he’s given me a few gifts. I’ve given myself to him. Why half the time he can’t even get it up. I can’t help it if older men desire me. Why shouldn’t I get a few gifts for giving them what they want? I have not cajoled any of them to give me any gifts.
SCHMUCK: Doesn’t it bother you to be exposed as a rich man’s mistress? What makes you different from a prostitute?
STIVIANO: It doesn’t bother me all. I’m living well. Donald lets me fuck whomever I want, including those blacks he doesn’t like. I think a lot of working women are just jealous of me because they’re struggling to survive while I’m living the good life. And I’m not a prostitute. Unlike a whore, as a mistress to rich old guys, I never demanded anything for my services and I never negotiated any price for my services.
SCHMUCK: Mr. Sterling doesn’t like blacks. You’re half black. He says that when he’s making love to you, he’s making love to the Mexican part of you, not to the black part. How do you feel about that?
STIVIANO: I don’t blame Donald for making love to the Mexican part of me. After all, Mexican women are hot lovers and the Mexican part of me is hot stuff! Listen honey, we’ve got to cut his off because I need to go out and find myself another old sugar daddy.
SCHMUCK: Thank you for being so candid with us and good luck on finding a new sugar daddy.
STIVIANO: You’re welcome honey, and don’t you worry, I won’t have any trouble finding another rich old guy to take good care of me. When I wear my short miniskirts and show a lot of cleavage, those old geezers line up to slobber all over me and forget they’ve got a wife at home.
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