A DOZEN COVIDIOT TURKEYS

From diwmit Cardi and brazen Kim to zombie Rudy and delusional Donald - if there's one thing dumber than turkeys this Christmas, it's my 12 shameless, hypocritical, rule-breaking and downright bonkers celebrity Covidiots

 

By Piers Morgan

 

Daily Mail

November 30, 2020

 

Who'd be a turkey at this time of year?

The holiday season is supposed to be a time for peace and goodwill to all, but that memo never seems to extend to the poor wobbling gobbling red-necked birds who must dread it like condemned criminals on Death Row.

Americans have spent the past few days munching their way through an estimated 46 million turkeys and will guzzle another 22 million over Christmas.

To make matters worse, the very word 'turkey' has come to be synonymous with bad things. Actors, in their very rare moments of genuine humility, speak scathingly of making movies or plays so bad they're 'turkeys'.

The origin for this slur can be traced back to the late 19th century when the annual period between Thanksgiving and Christmas saw the largest number of new theater shows open.

This intense over-flooding of the market inevitably meant a lot of them flopped due to lack of quality, in the same way that many of the turkeys consumed didn't live up to expectations either.

Hence a dud play became known as a 'turkey'.

There's another reason why nobody wants to be called a turkey, and it's because they're spectacularly stupid. 

So dumb in fact that they will stand with their mouths agape, staring up at the sky as it rains, even if they do so for such a long time that they actually drown.

Scientists defend this bizarre self-harming trait by explaining that turkeys have an inherited genetic condition known as 'tetanic torticollar spasms' which causes them to act unnaturally, sometimes cocking their heads and starting at the sky for 30 seconds or more.

But frankly, this sounds like a desperate attempt to defend the indefensible to me. You only have to look at a turkey to know they're not the brightest bulbs in the animal chandelier.

There is, though, a breed of creature even dimmer than turkeys: the Covidiot.

As the coronavirus pandemic has wrought its lethal havoc all over the world, it's brought out the very best in people, and sadly, also the very worst.

In recent weeks, the volume of high profile 'Covidiots' has increased almost as fast as the number of covid cases in the United States - erupting like a hypocritical, brain-dead hydra to remind us that wealth and success are no substitute for selflessness and common sense.

These are stars and leaders who either don't think the rules are for them, just the little people, or who have gone stark raving bonkers.

So, to mark the impending arrival of the 12 Days of Christmas, here are my 12 celebrity Covidiots of the holiday season:

1. Cardi B – the 28-year-old rapper threw a massive Thanksgiving party at her house in total contravention of health expert advice about mass gatherings at home. '12 kids and 25 adults over the holidays!' she inexplicably tweeted, 'it was lit!' Of course, what was really 'lit' was the furious reaction from those who have been obeying the guidance, causing the unrepentant piece of work to mock (with a laughing emoji): 'People trying tooo hard to be offended. I wonder how they survive the real world.' Of course, if everyone acted as selfishly as cocky Cardi B did, the virus would ensure a lot fewer people survive the real world.

2. In London on Saturday night, another singer Rita Ora broke the law by hosting a lavish 30th birthday party in a restaurant for 30 friends including model Cara Delevinge in breach of UK Govt lockdown rules. Earlier this year, Ms Ora – whose mother is a health worker - launched a range of coronavirus themed merchandise including a 'Stop the Spread' T-shirt designed to encourage people to do their bit to suppress the virus. If only she could read her own logo!

3. Few people in this pandemic have been more censorious of covid rule-breaking than California Governor Gavin Newsom, who's introduced some of the most draconian lockdown regulations in the whole of US. Sadly, the selfish hypocrite is not one to follow his own orders and was caught enjoying a friend's slap-up $15,000 birthday dinner for a dozen guests at the acclaimed French Laundry in Napa Valley. They were packed in like sardines, none of them wearing masks – despite Newsom telling Californians to do the complete opposite. 'I made a bad mistake,' he said. 'I need to practice and preach.' You think, Mr Newsom??

4. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has had a brilliant crisis – just ask him! The ego-crazed politician has written a book telling us how great he's been and appeared on myriad talk shows to bask in his own reflected glory - all whilst presiding over one of the worst covid catastrophes in America. Then came Thanksgiving, and after telling New Yorkers to stay home, he let slip he'd be ignoring CDC advice to have his family including his mother and daughters over for a big party. He cancelled the plan when it sparked a furore about his hypocrisy but as befits Cuomo's self-anointed saintly status, he didn't admit doing anything wrong, or apologize.

5. Actor Jon Voight has spent the crisis delivering a series of increasingly ludicrous and delusional presidential style addresses to the American people from his home in which he's declared 'evil' Joe Biden's the new Satan, and President Trump's 'the only man who can save this nation.' He's now called for an uprising against the Left, ranting: 'I ask all to fight this battle now. My friends from all colors, races and religions, this is now our greatest fight since the civil war.' Jeez. It's way past Midnight, Cowboy – go to bed.

6. The only man who sounds more batshit crazy than Voight is Rudy Giuliani, once the most admired person man in the country as 'America's Mayor' after 9/11, but now a demented train-wreck conspiracy theorist whose public appearances have become notable not for the nonsense he's spouting but for the large quantities of hair dye dripping all over his face that make him resemble a real-life zombie.

7. Acclaimed TV medic 'Dr Mike' Mikhail Varshavski, dubbed the 'sexiest doctor alive' by People magazine, told Fox Business in July that wearing a mask is of 'utmost importance' for people's health and the economy. He said: 'So please, if you're going outside in public and going to be around other people, wear a mask. By wearing a mask, you are limiting the spread to the community.' Last week, video footage obtained by DailyMail.com of the same Dr Mike partying with a dozen scantily clad woman on a boat, none of whom, including him, were wearing masks. My diagnosis? Shameless hypocrite.

8. Kim Kardashian. A trifling global pandemic was never going to stop her and her cerebrally challenged imbecile sisters going about their normal selfish, narcissistic business. So, Kim spent $2 million on flying 30 of her family and friends to a private island where they thoughtfully posted endless pictures of themselves ignoring all social distancing and mask rules just to remind us how dim-witted they are. 'I feel humbled and blessed,' she gushed. 'I'm humbly reminded of how privileged my life is.' No luv, you just arrogantly reminded us of how vacuous and self-absorbed your life is.

9. Not to be left out, and ignoring all the fall-out from her big sister's obscene trip, Kendall Jenner threw an even bigger 25th birthday party for 100 people in West Hollywood, again with zero social distancing or mask-wearing. 'No social media' read the warning notices on arrival, but of course, it all got splashed across social media because the Kardashians are the true turkeys of reality TV – too dumb to realize when they're drowning themselves.

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein tweeted in July that 'wearing masks in public should be mandatory' but has since been repeatedly caught not wearing one in public – including inside an airport, and even in the hallway of the Capitol in front of TV cameras. She was even seen hugging Lindsey Graham, as neither wore a mask. Unsurprisingly, her conduct has been so breathtakingly brazen and hypocritical that she has now been forced to 'stand down' as top Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee.

11. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot instructed the city's people 'You must cancel the normal Thanksgiving plans' after a surge in covid cases. Yet the previous week, Lightfoot was seen whooping it up in the street, maskless, and shouting through a bullhorn (great for spittle expulsion to large numbers of people) during a Biden victory party. Did she think we wouldn't remember?

12. Donald Trump. Do I even need to say why? Not content with handling the pandemic so badly that America has by far the worst death toll in the world, if the outgoing President persists in his sad, pathetic and dangerous attempt to overturn the fair election result then 'Diaper Don' will go down as the biggest presidential turkey in history.