SO, WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW IS ASSCRACKISTAN?

by Bob Walsh

It is Monday morning, August 30, as I type this out.  We are supposed to be gone tomorrow.  Senile Joe has promised we will be gone tomorrow.  I do not know anybody, with the possible exception of Senile Joe, who actually thinks we can accomplish what we said we wanted to accomplish in that time frame.  So, what will happen?

Possibility one.  We will in fact get everybody out who wants to get out in that time frame.  I think that is about as likely as Howie being the next Pope, but you never know.

Possibility two.  We got almost all of our own people out, pretend we got out all of the natives who want to get out, and let the rest get killed.  

Possibility three.  We acknowledge we still have people in-country but leave anyway and keep saying that we think the Taliban will protect them and get them out because it is in their best interest to do so.  It is barely possible that will happen.  It is also barely possible I will be elected the next Archbishop of Canterbury.  I think the two things are about equally likely.

Possibility four.  Our people will become hostages.  The locals who worked for us will become dead.  I suspect this is most likely, but I could be wrong.  I have been wrong before.  I put $15 on Sonny Liston against Cassius Clay in 1963.

Possibility five.  The goat fuckers will do something really public and really nasty and we will go back in.  

Damned if I know how it is going to turn out.  The only thing I am pretty sure of is it will make us look like idiots.