THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS

How It Should Go

 

By Bob Walsh 

 

 

 

My fellow Americans.  

 

I am, without question, the worst president in living memory.  

 

I am corrupt, indecisive (except when it comes to making personal money) and incompetent.  

 

I am too stupid to pour piss out of a boot, which is necessary for me every two or three days now.  

 

I spend most of my time trying to keep my son and my brother out of prison, which is necessary to keep me out of prison.  

 

If it wasn't for my wife and the Easter Bunny I would be stepping on my dick even more than I already do.  

 

You are so stupid that a lot of you believe this GREEN NEW DEAL shit us socialist-commies are throwing your way.  

 

You were a bunch of fucking idiots for voting for me, so if you get right down to it you deserve me.  

 

Fuck you all.  Twice.  

 

Have a nice day.