NEW VERSION OF 'I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO'

By Howie Katz

                                                       Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga 

Singer Tony Bennett, who is probably best known for his rendition of "I left my heart in San Francisco" has been on tour with Lady Gaga  despite suffering from Alzheimers.

On August 3, his 95th birthday, he appeared together with Lady Gaga at New York's Radio City Music Hall.  When the duo ended their performances, it was announced that Tony was retiring on doctor's orders.

Lady Gaga told the audience “He’s my friend. He’s my musical companion. He’s the greatest singer in the whole world.” And that he may well be.

 

                            Man taking a shit on a parked car in San Francisco

 

 

                      Man taking a shit in an aisle of a San Francisco Safeway store

 

Considering what has happened in the city by the Bay, "I left my heart in San Francisco" is badly in need of revision.  Here is the new version of the song:

 

            I LEFT MY SHIT IN SAN FRANCISCO

 

The loveliness of Paris seems somehow sadly gay

 

The glory that was Rome is of another day

 

I've ducked gunfire and been mugged in Manhattan

 
I'm going home to my city by the Bay

 
I left my  shit in San Francisco

 
High on a hill, it calls to me

 
To be where the shit is piled up halfway to the stars

 
The morning stench may pollute the air, I don't care

 
My shit waits there in San Francisco

 
Above the blue and windy sea

 
When I come home to you, San Francisco

 
Your piles of shit will stink for me

 

 

When I come home to you, San Francisco

 
Your piles of shit will stink for me